NBA Draft Recap

You wanted it? You get it! Sure, it's almost a week later but you're gonna get yourself some draft grades.

Void if sarcasm is withheld.

1. Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls - Bulls fans hope D-Rose's homecoming is more like LeBron's staying home in Cleveland, less like Starbury's return to New York City.
2. Michael Beasley, Miami Heat - After the best player in the draft fell to the Heat at No. 2, Pat Riley began plotting against...what's his name...that coach he just hired.
3. OJ Mayo, Minnesota Timberwolves - Unable to send this talent to the Celtics, Kevin McHale settles for Kevin Love and Mike Miller from Memphis.
4. Russell Westbrook, Seattle Sonics - Westbrook introduces a new concept called "defense" into Sonics camped
5. Kevin Love, Memphis Grizzlies - The Grizz get a scorer in O.J. Mayo. Good luck to O.J. as he tries to market himself to the good folks of Memphis, Tenn.
6. Danilo Gallinari, New York Knicks - The only people that enjoyed this pick are Gallinari, D'Antoni, Italian-American New Yorkers and fans who hate the Knickerbockers.
7. Eric Gordon, Los Angeles Clippers - Not playing for the clippers is reason No. 1 why you should stay in school if you're a talented college hoopster.
8. Joe Alexander, Milwaukee Bucks - "Vanilla Sky" will be a great marketing tool for Wisconsinites in search of a player to market a new flavor of ice cream.
9. DJ Augustin, Charlotte Bobcats - Michael Jordan proves why Jerry Reinsdorf never gave him a front office gig by drafting a PG when the Bobcats already have Raymond Felton (a UNC like Jordan and Coach Larry Brown at that).
10. Brook Lopez, New Jersey Nets - Because someone's gotta grab the bricks Vince Carter throws up from the great beyond.
11. Jerryd Bayless, Indiana Pacers - It was a dumb pick 'til you see where I'm going with this in No. 13
12. Jason Thompson, Sacramento Kings - Who is Jason Thompson? Seriously.
13. Brandon Rush, Portland TrailBlazers - Poor Brandon goes from a nice situation in Portland to begging for minutes in Indy.
14. Anthony Randolph, Golden State Warriors - Anthony Randolph looks to add his name to talented big men that warm Don Nelson's bench.
15. Robin Lopez, Phoenix Suns - Lopez will be putting that Stanford education to good use as he will be used to spell Shaq when he's tired (or rapping).
16. Marreese Speights, Philadelphia 76ers - Personally, I would rather be a college student-athlete star in Gainsville, Fla. where the girls are blonde and pretty than a pro in Philadelphia where they booed Santa.
17. Roy Hibbert, Toronto Raptors (for Indiana) - If Hibbert can stay healthy, I guarantee he matches Jermaine O'Neal's productivity (if he's NOT healthy).
18. JaVale McGee, Washington Wizards - Teams in the NBA Eastern Conference have been blowing up former SIU forward Randal Falker's phone as they hope to land someone to stop McGee.
19. JJ Hickson, Cleveland Cavs - The Cavs needed a shooting guard who puts the emphasis in shooting. They didn't get him.
20. Alexis Ajinca, Charlotte Bobcats - First D.J.A. and now some French dude no one's ever heard of. Are we sure this guy isn't Fredric Weis?
21. Ryan Anderson, New Jersey Nets - Even though I don't agree with the player chosen (Darrell Arthur is still chillin' in the green room), now Lopez has competition to grab VC's bricks.
22. Courtney Lee, Orlando Magic - A former Duke star will lose playing time to a guy from Western Kentucky: whodathunkit?
23. Kosta Koufos, Utah Jazz - A tremendous upside pick for the Jazz, even though their front court is loaded like Lindsay Lohan on a Friday afternoon.
24. Serge Ibaka, Seattle Sonics - Another international player I've never heard of....don't the Sonics have rebuilding to do?
25. Nicolas Batum, Houston Rockets - This guy has potential down the line...so does my stock in Enron.
26. George Hill, San Antonio Spurs - This is where the Spurs usually pick a random foreigner who will shine in a few years. I didn't know IUPUI played basketball.
27. Darrell Arthur, New Orleans Hornets (for Portland) - Not only did he have to wait thru 27 picks, he has to sit behind Channing Frye, Lamarcus Aldridge and Greg Oden. One more year in Lawrence, Kan. makes him a lottery pick.
28. Donte’ Greene, Memphis Grizzlies - Hakim Warrick wins a bet with the Grizz' management. Drafts a guy who will watch Syracuse basketball with him and team against UConn teammate Rudy Gay.
29. DJ White, Detroit Pistons - While the White Sox own the idea of grinder ball in baseball, the Pistons own the concept on the hardwood. Calls by Kelvin Sampson were not returned.
30. JR Giddens, Boston Celtics - Does it matter who they picked? They just won the f*****g NBA title!

In closing:

WINNERS:

• The Miami Heat for grabbing the most talented player in the draft and resisting the possibility of drafting local product Elian Gonzalez.
• The Chicago Bulls' marketing department are the biggest winners of the draft after nabbing local kid with first pick. Because if there's anything more marketable than sex, it's a local product who might be the most talented young guard out there.
• Italian-American New York Knicks fans who will be shouting "That's my guy!" in heavy New York accents when "Big Cock" lands in the Big Apple.

LOSERS:

• The Charlotte Bobcats who were hoodwinked by Michael Jordan, who fooled the Bobcats executives into thinking Mike knew talent on the court. We all know he can spot it off the hardwood.
• Mike D'Antoni is probably not a happy man right now. He could be leading the Bulls and Derrick Rose. Instead he's stuck in NYC with Eddy Curry, Zach Randolph, Jamal Crawford, Starbury and some Italian guy whose nickname is "Big Cock."
• The Boston Celtics might be the biggest loser, after being unable to stick-up Kevin McHale at gun point and failing to acquire the rights to the No. 3 pick.
  

A Different Kind Of Monday

It was a different kind of Monday for Chicago and its baseball teams.

A week after the Cubs swept the White Sox at Wrigley Field, the ChiSox returned the favor at U.S. Cellular Field.

I won't let the angry Cubs fan inside me or the inquisitive baseball mind analyze this series. Instead I'll let my alter ego, "Stat Boy," break it down.

Take it away...

The Chicago White Sox dominated all facets of this series. And that's putting it nicely.

The Boys from Bridgeport upped their home record to 28-11 while dropping the Wrigleyville Nine's road record to a dismal 19-23.

The Southsiders out-homered the Northsiders 7-3 in the series. The Cubs three homers came off the bats of Geovany Soto, Mike Fontenot and Jim Edmonds in the Game One loss. Unfortunately for the Cubs, no one was on base for the bombs.

In the Sox' Game Three victory, two run homers by Bryan Anderson and Jim Thome, along with Carlos Quentin's solo shot accounted for all of the runs scored by the Men In Black to secure the sweep.

The White Sox bullpen did not allow one measly run in 8.5 innings pitched. The Cub bullpen surrendered 5 runs (and two homers) in 8.2 innings. In fact, the entire Cubs pitching staff was out-pitched. The Sox whiffed 25 batters, while the Cubs pitchers only 'K-ed' 21.

And that's the tale of the tape here from Chicago, as I am out of nicknames for each team.

Crosstown Classic Preview Part Deux

It's put up or shut up time for the Chicago White Sox.

Last week while their players, general manager, and field manager were shooting verbal insults at the Cubs' fans, their beloved stadium and the fact that they hadn't won the whole damn thing in 100 years.

And all the Cubs did was let their bats do all the talking as they swept away their cross-town rivals.

Now the series shifts to U.S. Cellular Field where the White Sox are 24-11. Conversely, the Cubs are a less than impressive 16-20 on the road.

However, the Cubs should be the LEAST of the Sox' concerns as the Minnesota Twins are 0.5 games out of first place.

That means a Sox loss and a win by the Twinkies takes away a little bit of the shine behind a series that pits a pair of first place teams against one another.

Nevertheless, this should be a fun series to watch. I will especially keep an eye on ESPN's Sunday Night Telecast.

Will Joe Morgan apologize to Cubs fans after creating a crock of crap and belittling the name of the great Ernie Banks?

Will Jon Miller, who is a much better announcer in MLB 2K8 than in real life, not sound like a monotonous piece of crap?

Will Morgan give himself another hard-on while analyzing Carlos Quentin's perfect right-handed swing?

Only time will tell. Until then, let's play ball!

P.S. GO CUBS GO!

NBA Mock Draft Lottery

Making a mockery of the NBA Draft Lottery since May 2008 because I really don't care about how the NBA playoff teams draft.

1. Chicago - Derrick Rose, Memphis. The smart move would be taking the low-post presence this franchise desperately needs but we know how the Bulls love passing on the smart move, don't they?
   
2. Miami - Michael Beasley, Kansas State. Even though D-Wade + The Matrix + Beastley = NBA Playoffs, Pat Riley isn't sold.
3. Minnesota - O.J. Mayo, USC. Kevin McHale takes the best player available, then trades it to the Celtics in exchange for Glen "Big Baby" Davis, a championship ring and a full playoff share.
4. Seattle - Jerryd Bayless, Arizona. Luke Ridnour can't shoot and Earl Watson doesn't play defense. Bayless does both. And suddenly Durant has a point guard to feed him the rock.
   
5. Memphis - Brook Lopez, Stanford. He could turn out to be the safest pick in this draft or another waste of 7-feet. Only time will tell.
   
6. New York - Eric Gordon, Indiana. After the Knicks make their pick, expect Bucks assistant coach Kelvin Sampson to text Gordon in an effort to get him out of this commitment.
   
7. L.A. Clippers - Joe Alexander, West Virginia. Alexander made hay in the NCAA Tournament. His reward is landing on the Clips. Yeah, Joe, you probably shoulda stayed in school.
   
8. Milwaukee - Russell Westbrook, UCLA. In an effort to please the former sports editor at the Daily Egyptian, I'm hoping the Bucks pick Westbrook. Russ is the defensive minded guard the Bucks don't have.
   
9. Charlotte - Kevin Love, UCLA. Yeah, I still like this pick for the Bobcats. However, K-Love could go as high as No. 3. Scary, I know!
   
10. New Jersey - Danilo Gallinari, Italy. The Nets dip into the international pool. Geography experts like to call it the Atlantic Ocean.
    
11. Indiana - Anthony Randolph, LSU. The Pacers will select Randolph not because he addresses the void left when they traded Jermaine O'Neal for T.J. Ford. Instead, Pacers execs identify Randolph's lack of a criminal record as the No. 1 reason to draft the LSU forward.
12. Sacramento - D.J. Augustin, Texas. And even though Beno Udrih did wonders for my fantasy team, I wouldn't want him running the point for my team. Expect Augustin to hop on a Ron Artest remix in the coming months.
13. Portland - Donte Green, Syracuse. The ultra-athletic forward gives the Trail Blazers a formidable front court. Greg Oden's grizzled beard makes it intimidating.
14. Golden State - JaVale McGee, Nevada. The fun-and-gun offense is in search of a big man, and JaVale McGee isn't it. However, he and former top draft choice Patrick O'Bryant can reminisce about how they were owned by former Southern Illinois Salukis star forward Randal Falker. (Notice that I didn't change this.)

Speaking of The BMF, I can hear it now.

"And with the 51st pick in the NBA Draft, the Dallas Mavericks select RANDAL FALKER FROM THE SOUTHERN ILLINOIS UNIVERSITY!"

Why would they do that? Simple. Any time they'd run into the Warriors, all they'd have to do is throw The Big Mother Falker into the game and watch him go for 20 and 10 while the seven-foot softies (McGee and Patrick O'Bryant) get schooled by the former Saluki standout!

Besides, Mark Cuban owes me a favor before he buys the Cubs.

;-)

My Bulls Draft Prediction

Please allow me to channel my inner Swami Murph as I play "I predict..."

Now, say it like you mean it.

I PREDICT...

...that with the first pick in the NBA Draft, the Chicago Bulls will select Derrick Rose, guard, Memphis.

Not that I necessarily agree with the idea of drafting the local product over the low-post scorer the Bulls have been searching for.

If the Bulls do select Rose with the No. 1 pick, I fully expect them to take a big man with their early second round pick (No. 39 overall). The Bulls could theoretically select forward Joey Dorsey in the second round, making it an all-Memphis draft night. Indiana forward D.J. White, a first-round talent derailed by injuries and being under Kelvin Sampson, will also likely be available at that point in the draft.

If GM John Paxson is reading this blog, has a stroke of genius and decides to choose Beasley, expect the Bulls to go guard in the second round. Maybe Beasley's Kansas State teammate Bill Walker, a 6-foot-6 shooting guard/small forward, would intrigue Pax. Washington State's Kyle Weaver, IUPUI's George Hill and Mississippi State's Jamont Gordon are other prospects that mgiht pique the interest of the Bulls' front office.

Joe Must Go!

Count me in among those who want to take the ax to ESPN baseball analyst Joe Morgan.

The Hall of Fame second baseman is now known more for ignoring and mocking the importance of the statistical side of baseball that has come with the evil computers that supposedly are heading the front offices of Major League Baseball team instead of his Hall of Fame career.

Oh yeah, and there's a website named after him that is dedicated to poor sports journalism.

As for what put me over the top, let's take it back to Sunday's Cubs/Sox game when Eric Patterson made a friend for life when he smacked a two-run homer off Javier Vazquez to extend the Cubs' lead to 4-0.

"The basket was actually put there when Ernie Banks played and a lot of balls were hit that way and umpires had a problem with it. They actually started calling it 'Banks Boulevard' because he hit a lot of balls into that basket."

That one statement did a lot of wrong to a lot of people. Let's start with the idea that the statement implies that many of Ernie Banks' 512 home runs were cheap, basket shots. Next, Joe totally ignored the fact that the basket was really installed so fans wouldn't be able to jump out of the bleachers and on to the field, like they did when Ken Holtzman pitched his no-hitter.

And finally, the fact that Joe Morgan was absolutely WRONG with the statement because of the 512 home runs that Banks hit, only eight (8!!!!) were hit at Wrigley Field after the basket was put up in April 1970. Of the eight (8!!!!) I know that his 500th did NOT go into the basket because I've seen the video tape a million and one times.

And even if he hit the other seven into the basket (7!!!!), that would mean that 7 of his 512 home runs were basket shots. That's only 1.3 percent, not nearly the amount necessary to get the basket named after him.

Lost in this rant will be the fact that Joe Morgan should be reprimanded for this BIG TIME "mistake" and mistake is in quotes because the fact of the matter is that Morgan MADE THE DAMN THING UP OUT OF THIN AIR!

That's called lying. That's called fabricating a story. Talented writers such as Jayson Blair and Stephen Glass were canned because of that kind of thing.

I feel that Joe Morgan should be next in that firing line.

Morgan cubs
by bsap11

The Chicago Bulls Should Select Michael Beasley

Bulls GM John Paxson shouldn't tempt fate. When his team won the NBA Draft Lottery despite a 1.7% chance, he should have taken the hint that the prayers of he and his fan base were going to be answered.

And those prayers were to draft Kansas State forward Michael Beasley.

Beasley is the inside presence that the Bulls and their fans have been clamoring for since the Paxson regime took over for "The Sleuth" Jerry Krause. Paxson would be foolish if he were to let this opportunity fly by.

The 6-8 forward is a natural born scorer who is blessed enough to be able to score in a variety of ways from power post moves to shots from beyond the arc. And statistically, he was better than his point guard counterpart.

"Beastley" averaged 26.2 points, 12.4 rebounds and shot 53.2% from the field and 37.9% from the 3-point line in his only season in Manhattan, Kan. After his first three college games, No. 30 proved to the world he was worth the hype, averaging 30 points and 20 rebounds.

While Rose dominated the little sisters of the poor...er...Conference USA, Beasley dominated the monsters of the Big 12, leading the Wildcats to a NCAA Tournament berth and a victory over O.J. Mayo's Southern California team.

Against the National Champion Kansas Jayhawks, Beasley averaged 32 points and 8.5 rebounds. He put up 30 points and 15 rebounds in his only appearance against the Texas Longhorns, who bowed out to the national runner-up Memphis in the Elite 8.

He had 13 games in which he scored more than 30 points. He had 2 games in which he scored more than 40 points, including a career-high 44 in a 92-86 loss against Baylor, another NCAA Tournament team.

Lost in all the scoring is the fact that he only had four games in which he didn't grab double-digit boards. In addition, there were only 5 games in which he didn't record a double-double. For those of you who are mathematically challenged (like I am), that means The Manhattan Man-Child posted 28 double-doubles.

That's not sick, that's ill!

In the end, drafting Beasley would allow the Bulls to build from the inside out. They could team Beasley with Joakim Noah and Luol Deng in the front court. They could deal Drew Gooden, Tyrus Thomas and Kirk Hinrich for a proven NBA point guard and keep Ben Gordon at the two-guard.

Speaking of Thomas, the Bulls chose him with the No. 2 pick over the back-to-the-basket presence of fellow former Big 12 star in Texas' LaMarcus Aldridge. Maybe Johnny Jumpshot should learn from his past mistake.