"Kerry Wood Just Pissed On The Padres..."

Kerry Wood is flat out filthy!

The Chicago Cubs closer struck out two batters as he converted his 16th save of the season in the Cubs 9-6 win against the San Diego Padres.

Moments after the save, I got this text message: "Kerry Wood just pissed on the padres and said no homo."

For those of you that aren't hip to the lingo, check out the accompanying video below which is taken from the movie "Killa Season" starring rapper Cam'Ron.

***SPOILER ALERT***

In the scene, "Killa Cam" busts some guy in the back of the head with a liquor bottle and proceeds to "R. Kelly" on him all while saying "no homo" because if you're pissing on a dude, it's apparently "homo."

I thought it was hilarious (both the text and the video itself.)

But let's take a further look at Kerry's numbers, shall we?

Wood has converted 16 of 20 save opportunities. The 16 saves puts Wood in a three-way tie for the NL lead with San Francisco's Brian Wilson and Houston's Jose Valverde.

In 32.1 innings Kid K has struck out 36 batters and is back to living up to the nickname he earned after fanning 20 Astros on May 6, 1998. He's only allowed six base on balls. That means his strikeout-to-walk ratio is 6-to-1, a significant improvement over his career 2.40-to-1 K/BB ratio.

His ERA is 2.78. That's a run-and-a-half better than Wilson and almost a run better than Valverde's.

The only thing keeping Woody from being an elite closer is the dreaded hit by pitch. He's already hit five batters this year and has 86 in his career. If he can pitch inside without hitting a batter, he'd be nearly untouchable.

With Wood pitching lights out in the 9th inning, the talk of moving Carlos Marmol into the closer's role has cooled. And it's not Marmol's fault.

"Marmolade" has a cool 2.43 ERA to go along with 55 strikeouts in 37 innings. Think of it this way: Marmol's 55 strikeouts ranks ahead of John Maine (54 in 64 IP), Derek Lowe (52 in 77.2 IP), Tim Hudson (51 in 83.2 IP), John Danks (50 in 63 IP), Jon Lester (49 in 76 IP) and Justin Verlander (44 in 71.1 IP.)

You know what all of those guys have in common???

They're all starting pitchers!!!!!

If that's not stat-of-the-day material, I don't know what is? And that's why they call me Stat Boy!


Alright, here's the video. Fast forward to the 3:06 mark.