Three-Play starring the Rocket, Riley and Retarded GM's Part One

"Three-Play" ... now that's what I'm talking about!

"Three-Play" is the newest segment to "Bloggers" and will be un-officially sponsored by siuDE.com, because who knew that more people trust news written by a bunch of college kids over "professionals."


(Ha! Not with leads written like that!)

As for "Three-Play," let's introduce our players for this evening.

First, former Miami Heat head coach Pat Riley.

I was sitting at the sports desk, chillin', when I learned that Riley was reportedly leaving the team to go back to his comfy front-office position.

While this story will get swept under the rug by most journalist, I won't take it. Pat Riley is a quitter, and what he's doing now is no better than what Bobby Petrino did to Louisville ... or the Atlanta Falcons, for that matter.

He deserves to be absolutely reamed, but he won't because he's Pat Friggin' Riley. I'm sick of his greasy hair, pompous attitude, dirty players and his quittin' ass ways! He's only doing this to hire a Stan Van Gundy-redux, just so he can fire him when the team is about to take off and win another championship.

Shame on him, for thinking he would get this past any responsible sports journalist. But it's OK, that's why I'm here to stop the madness!

...

Enter stage left Roger Clemens, who allegedly had a 10-year fling with country star Mindy McCready.

A player with an extra-marital affair - no way!

What's newsworthy about this story is that the affair began when McCready was a 15-year-old aspiring country singer.

What's kinda sad is that no one ran with this story until the Associated Press ran with it. Again, shame.

Because it's not like there's another public figure who likes 'em fresh off the playground.

...

And finally, an editorial.

My team's favorite General Managers have failed me (part one.)

That's right, failed.

Let's start with Jerry Angelo, who put together a productive draft, but really failed to add any difference makers (other than former Southern Illinois quarterback Nick Hill).

I know they needed offensive line help, but that could have been addressed in the second round. And instead of getting into every draft pick, I'll give you what I would have done in rounds 1 thru 5 (because the 7th round is a crap-shoot.)

ROUND 1: Chris Williams, OL, Vanderbilt Rashard Mendenhall, RB, Illinois

ROUND 2: Matt Forte, RB, Tulane DeSean Jackson, WR, California

ROUND 3: Earl Bennett, WR, Vanderbilt Jeremy Zuttah, OG, Rutgers

ROUND 3: Marcus Harrison, DT, Arkansas Chad Rinehart, OG, Northern Iowa

ROUND 4: Craig Steltz, S, LSU Red Bryant, DT, Texas A&M (run stuffer)

ROUND 5: Zack Bowman, CB, Nebraska Kellen Davis, TE, Michigan State

ROUND 5: Kellen Davis, TE, Michigan State Trae Williams, CB, South Florida

As you can see, I disagreed with almost every pick.

Mendenhall would have provided the Bears with the home run hitting running back this town has been desperate for since Neal Anderson (yes, I went there.)

DeSean Jackson would walk into Halas Hall and be the best receiver on the Bears, without a doubt.

Zuttah and Rinehart are versatile linemen that will be productive in the NFL. Bryant is described as a run-stuffer and if you saw what Adrian Peterson did to the Bears, you'd thank me for that pick.

And finally, in drafting Trae Williams, you would have been drafting Mike Jenkins light. So you're not talking much of a drop off.

To add salt to the wound, the Bears passed on my favorite players that would have totally helped the team.

Mike Hart, RB, Michigan would have been nice -- and will likely have a better career than Matt Forte, Joseph Forte or even ESPN personality, Pat Forde.

Mario Manningham, WR, Michigan would walk into Halas Hall and be the best receiver on the Bears without even haven taken one NFL snap. But you can say that about almost every wideout in the year's draft.

Nick Hill, QB, Southern Illinois was thankfully signed to a three-year deal after the draft concluded. Go! Nick! Go!